she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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