Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
