just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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