how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize