I wish I could punch you in the face.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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