i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
