I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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