Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
