i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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