omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Found the puke drawer
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
