all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize