Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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