I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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