she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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