Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
