the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
