do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
