i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
