I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
