I just pynch a tree in the face
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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