Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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