You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
