How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
