So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
