what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
