It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize