She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
