the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Drake has all the answers
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
did i just pee glitter
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
