If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
