Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
