I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
