so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
