Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
