woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
