just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
