what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
