I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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