plz talk dirty to me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
