I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
