So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
