But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
