There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I will be naked everywhere
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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