3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
