All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
