she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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