Non-Jews are for practice
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
