Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just want nice things and good sex
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
