I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
