some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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