i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize