I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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