I'm so fucking centered right now
id be glad to
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future