i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?