Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
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