I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
