So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
