i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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