he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
