I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....