The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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