I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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