you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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