Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
